People are not their habits

Updated: Mar 27, 2020

People are not their habits.⁠⠀

A mindset shift that brought me a lot of peace:

People are not their habits, even though their life may primarily be a result of their habits. Consequently, loving someone unconditionally is not to love their habits unconditionally. It is to love someone’s soul, someone’s morals, someone’s priorities, etc.⁠⠀


The phrase, "That's just the way I am" is a cop out. It is an excuse to stick with what is convenient, as opposed to changing a habit that is negatively affecting another person. ⁠⠀

In a strong, healthy relationship (friend, family, romantic partner, etc.) we know that we shouldn't try to change the other person. For this reason, we should try to find people who's soul, morals and priorities we appreciate. ⁠⠀


Their habits are a completely separate matter. If someone has a habit that is harmful to you, they can make the choice to change this habit. This doesn't mean they're changing who they are, it simply means they're forming a new habit. ⁠⠀


Example: Maybe your friend communicates with you in a way that hurts you. Your friend's intentions probably aren't to hurt you (assuming you decided to be friends because you like their soul, morals and priorities). Regardless, if this habit hurts you, they can make a choice to change it. ⁠⠀


As always, it's important to look inward to see how we can hold ourselves to the same standard we hold others to. If someone comes to you and says something you're doing has a negative affect on them, try to look inside yourself. Is this thing one of your morals, priorities or just a habit. If this thing is a habit, you can make the decision to form a different, less harmful habit. ⁠⠀


We often let our ego get in the way of our own happiness. Instead of feeling attacked by someone's attempt at communication (ego driven) try to feel compassion for them, and understand that we all view the world through a different set filters, and we all deserve to feel safe and happy. ⁠⠀

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© 2020 by cephalo hypnosis